To the No Strings Ladies....

**Ok. Now keep in mind. I am in NOWAY claiming that I know everything about the inner workings of a man's mind. I am in no way a dude whisper, zen master of sex and how it should be, or the guru of guys. BUT, considering my male friend to girl friend ratio is like 17:1 (literally) I have been in enough guy talks.  **

Now alot of women are on the "No strings attached/ hook up/ one night stand" thing. And that is not what I am knocking. In my mind there is nothing wrong with a woman confident enough to know what she wants and gets it. But a few of you are out there doing the exact opposite of what you claim to be doing, and I get to hear about it. So for the sake of my sanity (and maybe a bit of your dignity) I am going to let you in on a few things that I personally get to hear about the day after. Take them or leave them, your choice:

1) Stick to what you say- These are men. Be direct with what you want upfront. If you don't want the one night thing, or the no strings attached thing, or if you are in anyway way thinking that it will change later. DONT DO IT. Most men arent observant enough (or care to be observant enough) to dig deeper to find out what you really want. They will take whatever you say at face value. They don't care if you're lying . Hell there are a few that can tell you are lying, but will give you what you SAY you want instead just because you asked for it. So make it plain and stick to it.

2) GTFO- Don't linger with the  "is he going to make me breakfast" or the "what now" thoughts. Buy your own damn food. It's awkward for both of you, more for you if he doesn't. Wake up before him and be out. Preferably, I would do it  'darling Nicky'  style, but if you want to wake him up to see you out, go ahead, but be completely ready BEFORE hand. The only reason for staying is for another go (you judge)

3)Keep Quiet- This goes both way. Don't make alot of unnecessary noise when you're making your exit. On top of that...The main Keep Quiet- Be a Lady. Sure, talk to your bestie all you want, but don't go spilling to the world how the guy you slept with did or didn't work yours.

4) Clean up your shit- Don't leave a trail behind you. Pick up the water bottle you went through throw it out and gather ALL of your things. That leaving an item behind for forced contact shit gets old. Don't do it. If he wants to see you again he will MAKE IT HAPPEN. Just make sure you rocked his world enough to leave an impression if that's what you want. Leave him wanting more if anything. Most of your shit gets thrown out.

5)Don't apologize- You wanted this, he wanted this. The next morning dont do the 'i can't believe i did that' ' i normally dont move that fast' stuff. Either he is mature enough to think, you wanted what you wanted and went after it, or he doesn't. But i promise he is going to think what ever he thinks no matter what you say. Shit all that added it might just emphasize the impression you are trying to take away.

6)Fix yourself- You didn't go into his place looking like you were mowed over, don't leave that way. This is where it counts, leaving that way will only make you feel worse when you finally glimpse at yourself. Stop scaring small children with your mascara. Rinse your face, brush your hair, and straighten out your clothes.


Ok i had like 15 more but I am tired of typing. These are some basics. I don't care enough about your life to judge it, but if you are going to do something, why not do it right.....
  -Realest advice I will ever give