Dear heart,
Ok, it is time you and me had a talk. I'm ready to explain the last 11 years of bitchy eye rolling, regular silent treatment, and outright war between us. You must wonder why we can now sit here holding hands like you didn't put gum in my hair in the sixth grade, or pull a chair out from underneath me laughin as you stole my boyfriend away when I was 18 even after Brain and Gut told you not to. (Deny those all you want you SO did...)
Until very recently, I hated you for being a rotten wingman in the romace department as well as the rest of my life. I wanted Chanel, you delivered Eau de Gangrene. There it is.
Our trouble began when you set my expectations all wrong early in life. You were always athletically giftef at the sisterly, and the father daughter thing. I still don't see how you did it, toughing out the simultaneous implosions while securing a "father" for a girl that had never laid eyes on her own, while securing that my siste and I emerged as kindered spirits on the other side.
Even my cousins in the beginning got an honorary sister status as a result of your talent. To this very day I can pick up a photo of 'daddy' and you can make me tear up andget all mushy on the inside. Thank you really. You made my life easier for the first 12 years.
Which is why heart, I falted you-- and wanted to scrape you out with a grapefruit spoon-- in the romance dept, and everything else you were dead weight.
Brain and Gut had to work double shifts to keep your dumbass safe because you were too naieve to protect yourself. Do you now how much that overtime cost me? Two special forces agents trained in soft entry,demolition, weapons, and hand to hand combat don't come cheap. I mean Gut was a medic and Brain was a sniper for heavens sake!
But I must hand it to you heart.....oh you idiotc earnest believer you. You're resourceful. Somehow your 12 year old 4 foot frame somehow managed to escape that 100 ft tower guarded by 2 men in their 40s wt over 20 years experience in a sundress and barefoot no less. And by the time they found you again it was too late. Yu saw an angel face and assumed it reflected the tenor of the heart lurking within.
I couldn't believe it when you threwthe tantrum, kicking and screaming as Gut and Brain tried to haul you back to your tower. Eventually they threw their hands in the air and let you have your way. You were wrong. He may have been a cheater but you were 3 timing with Brain, Gut, and Libido kying to the three of them to get their trust which makes you no better. Bad girl! Look where it got you. Your 5 year record is what caused me to do a total brand recall of the body last year. I finally held you accountable for your crimes heart, and I cut you out of the picture. I just couldn't trust you.
Yet here we sit now, like bffs over coffee. Why? The jedi mind trick worked. You pickaxed away at the tower walls and as you did you finally learned what youwere trying to teach me. It was MY job to engage Brain, Gut, Libido, and Body because you're all heart! Duh. I wasn't using all that is me to take care of you. And you deserve better.
So thank you. Thank you for resisting me when I tried to declare you closed. Thank you for inspiring me to include you in the decisions. You became a woman over the last 5 years and you were made even more beautiful by the emotional stretch marks.
Love you,
Apathy
Ok, it is time you and me had a talk. I'm ready to explain the last 11 years of bitchy eye rolling, regular silent treatment, and outright war between us. You must wonder why we can now sit here holding hands like you didn't put gum in my hair in the sixth grade, or pull a chair out from underneath me laughin as you stole my boyfriend away when I was 18 even after Brain and Gut told you not to. (Deny those all you want you SO did...)
Until very recently, I hated you for being a rotten wingman in the romace department as well as the rest of my life. I wanted Chanel, you delivered Eau de Gangrene. There it is.
Our trouble began when you set my expectations all wrong early in life. You were always athletically giftef at the sisterly, and the father daughter thing. I still don't see how you did it, toughing out the simultaneous implosions while securing a "father" for a girl that had never laid eyes on her own, while securing that my siste and I emerged as kindered spirits on the other side.
Even my cousins in the beginning got an honorary sister status as a result of your talent. To this very day I can pick up a photo of 'daddy' and you can make me tear up andget all mushy on the inside. Thank you really. You made my life easier for the first 12 years.
Which is why heart, I falted you-- and wanted to scrape you out with a grapefruit spoon-- in the romance dept, and everything else you were dead weight.
Brain and Gut had to work double shifts to keep your dumbass safe because you were too naieve to protect yourself. Do you now how much that overtime cost me? Two special forces agents trained in soft entry,demolition, weapons, and hand to hand combat don't come cheap. I mean Gut was a medic and Brain was a sniper for heavens sake!
But I must hand it to you heart.....oh you idiotc earnest believer you. You're resourceful. Somehow your 12 year old 4 foot frame somehow managed to escape that 100 ft tower guarded by 2 men in their 40s wt over 20 years experience in a sundress and barefoot no less. And by the time they found you again it was too late. Yu saw an angel face and assumed it reflected the tenor of the heart lurking within.
I couldn't believe it when you threwthe tantrum, kicking and screaming as Gut and Brain tried to haul you back to your tower. Eventually they threw their hands in the air and let you have your way. You were wrong. He may have been a cheater but you were 3 timing with Brain, Gut, and Libido kying to the three of them to get their trust which makes you no better. Bad girl! Look where it got you. Your 5 year record is what caused me to do a total brand recall of the body last year. I finally held you accountable for your crimes heart, and I cut you out of the picture. I just couldn't trust you.
Yet here we sit now, like bffs over coffee. Why? The jedi mind trick worked. You pickaxed away at the tower walls and as you did you finally learned what youwere trying to teach me. It was MY job to engage Brain, Gut, Libido, and Body because you're all heart! Duh. I wasn't using all that is me to take care of you. And you deserve better.
So thank you. Thank you for resisting me when I tried to declare you closed. Thank you for inspiring me to include you in the decisions. You became a woman over the last 5 years and you were made even more beautiful by the emotional stretch marks.
Love you,
Apathy
Posts
