7 no no's 4 me

Yesterday my friend "Courtney" asked me had I really never attempted a relationship with any of my friends that I view as platonic. Of course not. She asked me why considering most of my male friends were attractive, and could possibly have some type of interest in me in some way. Then I realized that it's because I know them that I can't do it. There are seven categories of men that will never work out, and most of the time you can't classify a guy in one of those until it's too late and you're already dating. But as their friend I see it in their character, their emotions, and treatment of other relationships. There isn't a guy friend that I have that hasn't been able to fall into one of these categories thus making them undatable ever. Those are:

1. The Guy Who Hates His Job
Hating your job — where you spend the majority of your time — is a destructive mindset which can poison any relationship. It’s one thing to be mildly dissatisfied with work life while at work, but the guy who is absolutely miserable at his job will spend a good amount of his free time being absolutely miserable about it as well, and that’s not good. It’s important to like what you do, and if this guy doesn’t, why is he still doing it? Why doesn’t he change anything? People that are unhappy about a situation or feel a certain way and yet do nothing to fix it, can never work.

2. The Guy Who’s Obsessed with His Mother...or EX in some weird cases.
He loves her, defers to her, consults her about everything, and you will never live up to her. OR he hates her, constantly complains about her, and expects you to be the complete opposite of her. Either way, there isn’t enough room in a relationship for you, him, and the giant Shadow of His Mother (Ex)

3. The Guy Who Needs to Be Admired
It’s not enough for you to tell him he’s smart and funny and attractive. He needs to feel it and hear it from other people, too, and he’s willing to work for it by constantly flirting with other people, via email, at parties, in line at the grocery store, with the waitstaff of restaurants…everywhere. Even though he won’t straight out cheat, you’ll never feel enough for this guy, because, well, you aren’t.

4. The Guy Who Has Friends You Never Meet
He’s always emailing, texting, or running off to see “friends,” but you’re never invited to come along. It’s not about cheating or anything,  but a guy who compartmentalizes his life like that is clearly not ready to share it with anyone else. Or he’s ashamed of you, or he’s ashamed of them: either way, no bueno.

5. The Guy Who Wants to Rescue You
For some reason, he always seems to date people who are complete basket cases, because he likes to play the hero. He gets off on coming in and acting as a stabilizing force, rescuing women from their situations or themselves, advising, helping, tranquilizing. The more messed up a woman is, the more attracted he feels: he needs to feel needed. But the second her life starts to get in order, he loses interest: because, without her issues to take away the focus from him, he’s left with his own problems and insecurities to deal with. And that he absolutely cannot do.

6. The Guy Who Cannot Leave a Party
You were supposed to just stay in tonight, but it’s so-and-so’s last day at work, you see, and he should probably stop by, and also so–and–so is having a party for this thing, which might be fun to go to, after which so–and–so else is getting drinks nearby, and can’t you stop by, just for one? This guy has serious FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but the only thing he’s really missing out on is quality time with you.

7. The Guy Who Can’t Believe You Picked Him
At first, it’s flattering and endearing that this guy seems to think he’s so out of your league. He just can’t believe that you would ever be attracted to a guy like him, such a loser. In fact, he goes on and on about this, for so long, that eventually you start to believe him.

Now it's completely possible that they wouldn't be with this way with me, but the fact that i've seen it completely changes my view of them in that way. 

• at 10:04 AM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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The Death of a Dream

You know that part of the morning when you’re in the middle of a fantastic dream and something jolts you back to reality? Your heart sinks because your eyes open and see the light of day. The day that begins with getting ready for work.

You roll back over, close your eyes, and try desperately to get back to dreamland… where for a moment you don’t have to worry about real things. But… alas… something wakes you again and this time you really do have to get up. This time it’s the death of a dream.

It’s a heart sinking feeling to lose a grip on a dream that (at least for the previous slumbery moments) was all you thought about. But – you get up… you go about your day… and pretty soon you don’t remember what the dream was about.

This morning started with the death of a dream. A dream that I’m not quite able to let go of because it was such a spectacular one. Though i chased it with everything I had, I didn't catch it. But… then again… I guess that’s why they call them dreams.

I’m going to allow myself the rest of the evening to mourn the death… and then I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning with thoughts of a new dream. And who knows… maybe the old one will come around and surprise me again.

• at 7:58 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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My Sexuality

Some people are literary geniuses.  Others can compose classic symphonies without even the ability to hear. Some are born leaders, who take on the hardest jobs in government that most people think they can do better, but in reality wouldn’t come close.  Few have the athleticism to compete in the Olympics, much less win fourteen gold medals.  I am none of those things, nor do I have any of those talents.  But I do have a special purpose (and not like the kind Navin Johnson has).

Sex is a always a topic that I have never really been shy about, probably because I am comfortable enough in my sexuality to not be ashamed to seek further liberation. Not even in the horny, want to fuck all the time sense.  I think of it as a science, and I am a scientist.  Coupled with my perceptiveness and keen observation skills, my mind likes to form theories about people and events happening around me.


 For some reason. A reason I know, but don't care to mention, sex has been on my mind A LOT MORE. So let's explore it shall we? 

For no other reason besides sex on the brain, I decided to take one of those quizzes and my results were somewhat shocking yet I laughed immediately. This is what I got.

Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.

You’re a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It’s therefore highly likely that you’re attractive, and you’re certainly outgoing & friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you.

You don’t get attached too easily, and, to wit, you’re not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That’s a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you’re open to anything, you’re keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won’t be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.

In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don’t need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can’t think of anything about you we’d change. Keep on fucking, partner.

If you would like to take the quiz yourself you can here.

Of course it was just an online quiz which holds as much weight as my monthly horoscope. But it did sting a little, because it’s almost word for word how someone else had described me recently. Even though much of what was said is true (with some glaring discrepancies), it shocked me to read the results of a quiz that wasn’t even solely based on sex. I’d like to think I’m not quite as coldhearted as it sounds, and certainly not as emotionally detached, but im sure an  ex or 2 would tell you otherwise. Hell maybe not even an ex.


The purpose of this blog? I have sex on my mind so much that it needs to be dedicated to a blog in its own, even though it is real shit, the original purpose of 'the realest shit ill ever say" has a much deeper meaning.Though don't get me wrong, sex can be deep (no pun intended) but fun is a much better word. So here it is. TheeLadyApathy.wordpress.com 

• at 8:56 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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I'm starting to feel like dicks and nanis are interchangeable

*The names  change but the situations remain the same....in other words I won't tell who they really are.

Maybe it’s my imagination, or the weather, but it seems like hearts are breaking all around me. None of which are my fault, this time at least. Just off the top of my head, 3 of my male friends have used my shoulder to cry on in their time of need. Now, I’m not the best at giving advice, and I strongly urge anyone I give it to not to take it. I am a good listener, however, and do actually care about what’s bugging my dear friends. Since these are all guys, I also get an inside look at what makes men tick. What hurts them, what they stress over, and what would make their bad feelings go away. Turns out they’re not all that different from women.

The first sad soul is Ken. He and his girlfriend live in different states, which is the brunt of their problems. I know his girlfriend, so I have somewhat of an idea about both sides. I don’t like to make judgments after only hearing one story. He’ll tell me what drama happened that particular day, and I’ll try my best to translate the girl talk he’s getting from her. Most of the time I’m talking out of my ass. Again, relationships are not my forte, and I’m usually only good for distracting a guy from his problems by cracking a joke, and playing a few rounds on xbox. Maybe cook some shit to eat and have a drink or two depending on how bad it is.

Then we’ve got Seth.He is my favorite and starting to become an exception I think, because after all the time that has passed our friendship is still the same today.  Now, I can’t be certain that he has a penis, because I’ve never, ever thought of him that way, go figure. Instead, I patiently listen to his worries about his "friend's" recent behavior. She’s decent and showering him with affection one minute, and is detached and flaky the next. Or just says something that is completely makes me say 'what the fuck' and I'm not even the one that is involved. Anyway, Deep down he knows he should step back, if only for self-preservation, but he can’t. This frustrates me to no end because this is so parallel to someone else I know. I guess the best way that I can sum up his thinking is that "hot and cold are still lukewarm". Therefore,  All I can tell him is that I know the feeling well. What I don’t tell him is that it’s only going to hurt more in the future if she continues this wishy-washiness. The wound will never heal if you keep scratching at it. I keep that bit of info to myself because I can’t say that when it’s so hard for me to practice what I preach.

Jake is another situation altogether. He doesn’t have silly girl problems, he’s got full-blown wife problems. It literally hurts me when I hear him talk about it, and to be honest I don’t even know Jake all that well other than casual conversations but for some reason he seems to enjoy airing out his problems to me though, and if that even makes him just a smidge better, I’ve done my job. I guess.

I guess what I am learning from this is.... Everyone is the same. But at the same time' i am starting to view my very own heartbreak a little differently.

• at 7:18 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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Why things don't just happen.

There’s intention in everything we do, whether or not we really, actively intend for it to be there, if it’s what we do, then it’s there. We can’t say it isn’t. We’re doing it. The outcomes may not always be as intended. In Sociology there are a LOT of talks about ‘unintended consequences and outcomes.’ I believe those exist for certain. But the acts that we do, the carefully scripted words we share with others, the 'cordial distancing', the calls about nothing, the pictures we post, the blogs we write, the going to hang with a friend, that dress we put on before we head to a bar. There is intention in ALL of it.


-The realest shit I will ever say

• at 2:02 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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Um....

Has anyone ever had a dream where that they couldn't explain. A dream that had no real actions, but you could feel. Something that was so hazy as it was happening, it is almost odd that its crystal clear when you wake up. That is what I woke up to this morning.

She wept as he
enclosed her wrists
in secret flower
shackles there was a
dizziness within her.
His body was a
hallucination in
stained-glass a holy
labryinth of ecstasy
many regions to explore.

Her breath hibernated
in her throat then its
tempo increased. Her
delicate witchcraft
rushing rusty intoxication
full moons rising pure
unfathomable
alive!

Sparks and silent caresses
in the dark her mouth a
savage fantasy and
opiumden dark red supple
lips leading to a dangerous
hysteria of the flesh

then a whirling love soul
climax transparently
dissolving
wrapped
in quivers and trembling
music together one electric
wholeness- a discovery
of absolution on his
mirror tongue.

• at 1:53 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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No one is to EVER tell me they are sorry.

Ok, if we completely take out the fact that I am not a forgiving person (Ok well minus literally 4 people in my life that get passes) I can still honestly say that if I WERE forgiving by now the word "Sorry" would have lost complete meaning to me.  It is thrown around as often, if not more than the word "love" and I can't take it anymore.
As a child I would often become the recipient of punishment for this exact same word. Because it was never a word my mother could MAKE me say. When I was rueful, I rued, when I wasn't I shrugged. But on top of that I also took the steps needed to not make the same mistakes again. And to the FEW people that are like that, unfortunately the others have ruined it for you.
When we look into the definition of an apology this is what we get:
                  a·pol·o·gize 

intr.v. a·pol·o·gized, a·pol·o·giz·ing, a·pol·o·giz·es

1. To make excuse for or regretful acknowledgment of a fault or offense.

2. To make a formal defense or justification in speech or writing.

 TO MAKE EXCUSE. LIKE LITERALLY.  To exasperate matters, we currently occupy an era of nonaccountablility, where expressing contrition is like exposing our pristine, gluteal hemispheres to a biting Nor' Easter.This one word is assumed an easy way of getting yourself off of the hook when you have done something wrong. I am starting to see so many more people in my life acting like idiots and then assume that because they said “sorry” that you should forgive them. No more. No more "I'm sorry", "didn't mean to" "trying to ..." none of it. The best way to show true penitence is to BE BETTER.



-The realest shit I i will ever say

• at 1:51 PM
• Posted by Lady Apathy

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