Ah... to be retrojected. A word that use to sum up a large bulk of my life, so I am more than familiar with the word. But for those who arent:
retroject [ˌrɛtrəʊˈdʒɛkt]
vb
(tr) to throw or project backwards
[from retro- + -ject as in project]
retrojection n
Yes. There have been several times in my life where I have thrown myself backwards on my path to moving forward... all because of the weaknesses that are attached to falling in love. I don't really talk about personal views on love and heartbreak, but I feel the need to now because several people that I love are going through their own personal retrojection issues. Not to mention I seem to have quite a few readers that I don't know, and whose to say they aren't going through or haven't gone through the same.
Broken hearts are perverse little things. Whoever said that “Time heals all wounds” was either ignorant or suffering from denial. Now you could try ingesting your favorite alcoholic beverage, you can dull the pain of a heartbreak, hell, you can drown yourself and purge that sensation. However, the next day you are left to reel from the after effects of your overindulgence. The next day, not only does the pain come back with a vengeance, you’re also besieged with the feeling that the world has just split in two. Sheer discord and bedlam echo in your mind, the pain is ringing in your ears, as you suffer from one colossal hang over.
Time does not heal wounds, it only numbs the ache. It gives you the illusion that everything is over and done with, it gives you the comfort to go on with your life. To live with the pretense that your heart never suffered the blow. Time allows you to bury the memory to the farthest recesses of your mind, that is, of course till that hapless the day that something or someone happens to slash the wound open again.
You can turn to the powers of denial, that it doesn’t hurt, and that you’re over it. You can run, you can hide, you can change your name, and move to some distant continent – but then, broken hearts have the rather odious power to follow you where ever you go. In the end, you will be reduced to the same person that you were the moment it happened. You can try to find somebody new, to somehow allow yourself the chance to start fresh, but then, it does not work out, you are yet again reeling from another crippling sensation, which leaves you wondering why?
Broken hearts are like weeds, no matter how you try to do away with them in haste, they will always keep coming back to suck the life out of your garden. If one is not able to properly come to terms with the feeling, you will never be free from it. The past prevents you from moving on, because you have not found the power to heal from the festering wound in your heart.
So what do you do? Do you keep running away from it, only to collide into same feeling in your quest of denial? Or do you face the demon head on and finally lower it to its grave?
The power to heal can easily be found within ourselves. We spend so much time wallowing in a self imposed state of hell that we don’t see things clearly. We create our own demons after all. No one can truly break your heart unless you give them the power to do so.
Instead of moving on and forging on ahead.We do the dumbest thing, hurt ourselves by looking back…
It’s time to run away. Far away from the grave where the demons of our broken hearts lie resting. It’s time to run away, and leave the place where we have lost ourselves. Most people (as I have been once) are under the misconception that the only place we can find again is with the person we lost ourselves with. And that's not true. Once you lose yourself in a person you will NEVER EVER get that part of you back, so you have to discover a new you. It’s time to run away, and never look back again… It's quite a freeing feeling.
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