In my own personal look back, I can say that I had more high points than low, I reached more thresholds than I could predict and it was over all amazing. Yet at the same time I'm saddened by certain aspects of it, some that I thought would be there to see it, aren't.
It's so rare for me to get close to anyone, so when I do I tend to give them the 'forever' tag in my mind yet over the course of 12 months, I went from thinking 'good times with these people will last forever' to 'they aren't even here anymore.' With that happening to me 3 times in the year 2012 it's safe to say that that is the main lesson that I learned.
Forever. Do we KNOW how long forever is, like seriously? No I don't think we do. I know I obviously don't but we as a group of people seem to use it so casually like we have the slightest inkling. "It took forever to get to work today..." or "I'm going to love this person forever..."
Forever by today's standards has to be the shortest period of time ever. Honestly, no one living has ever experienced forever. We can write about it, talk about it, but none of us truly can grasp the concept of forever. This life doesn't offer us forever, everything we know has a beginning, and an end. We know this and yet we don't want things to change.
We know change is coming, but at the same time we don't want it. I'm learning that even the good things, tend to not mean anything if there isn't a change. One of the most beautiful songs in the world to me is Flower Duet preformed by Elina Garanca and Anna Netrebko. Their voices dance in this enthralling harmony that yearningly, leads you up to a crescendo that sends you over the edge and into a musical rapture when they finally reach it. And then you're saddened, when their whimsical duet lulls out into that coda, then with the feeling of emptiness that comes with ending of the song. It brings a tear to most peoples eyes every time. Because they loved it, and didn't want it to end.
But. Let's just pretend for one second that Ana could hold that note—the one that fills you with elation— let's say that she could hold it forever. That one beautiful note in the key of B. Eventually that note that she receives such reverence for, the one that we love so much, just becomes dead noise. It's the change in the notes that we listen for. It's the note before it, the note after it, and the one after that that makes that key of B so beautiful. That's how we make music.
So accept that every moment in our lives won't always be that B but it doesn't make our song any less beautiful.
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