WHAT IS MOTIVATION? IF YOU COULD DESCRIBE IT IN WORDS, WHICH ONES WOULD YOU USE?
But, that isn't the point. (This is going to be one of those horrible stories that eventually get to the point)
There were a few plus ones in our group yesterday ( a friend of a friend that doesn't quite belong but you're nice too anyway), and as we were sharing news and catching up one of my friends inquired about the progress of my book.
Now if it were just a cluster of my friends (as opposed to a mixed group of friends, associates, and plus ones) I would have beamed as I gave a full report on the happenings. But since that wasn't the case, I gave a very general and apathetic update. Which of course resulted in the question from the unknowing,
"You wrote a book?"
Now if you know me in the real world, you know that I hate focus being on me when there are unfamiliars in the mix. I prefer to watch, I prefer to listen, I prefer to talk about any other topic in the universe besides myself. So my friends weren't surprised when questions directed at me were met with general and concise answers that didn't leave room for elaboration. So when the very brief Q&A was over John, one of the plus ones concluded with
"With working all the time, I just don't see where you even had time to motivate yourself to write a book, it's amazing."
He had no animosity in his words, and I could tell he was genuinely complimenting me. So with a smile on my face I just shrugged and said, "Well motivation is really just selfishness held under a positive light. Anyone can do it."
This is where I get to the interesting part, because the 15 word phrase that I intended to be for me to make light of something someone else say as huge backfired, and a different plus one took offense to my words.
"Are you saying that anyone that is motivated is selfish?" he asked for clarification.
"In a way." I confirmed before Amanda, our mutual friend attempted to change the subject.
"I'm an extremely motivated person and I don't think I'm selfish at all." He rebutted.
"Ok, well if that's how you feel." I shrugged attempting to return to my coffee.
"No, no. No no. Explain your reasoning." He demanded.
"Sure, " I shrugged nonchalantly and then went on to explain what motivation was to me.
That everything we do, every means to an end no matter what the circumstances is fueled by concern with OURSELVES. Getting something we WANT is our fuel to do EVERYTHING.
Why do we work hard? To get the things we want, need, or deserve from life.
Why do we help people? Because it makes us feel better.
Why do we not help people? Because we have to help ourselves before we can help others.
Why do we attempt to be good people? Because whether you believe in Karma, God, or something else, we all have hopes that it will benefit us in the long run.
And then he argued, "No because I have helped and done things for people I love with no regard for myself, purely selfless actions."
HA selfish and selfless are still SELF. Anything we view as a selfless act is really just the fact that we LOVE someone so much that their happiness is our happiness, which still pleases US. As humans, being SELF FOCUSED is in our design and whenever we hear a story of success or triumph the only thing we are thinking is "that can be ME". I'm not saying it is wrong, but its a truth people rarely see. The fact that we view selfish as wrong is the only thing that makes you not see.
We went back and forth for a good ten minutes, until he eventually ran out of rebuttals and I won.
Anywho, I just thought I would share one of the realest debates I've had in a while since I missed blogging. I'll make an effort to do it more.
Until next time,
Apathy
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