I can write this one with ease. Mainly because our door is closed. Oh how easy it is to form concise sentences when doors aren't revolving, or locked from the outside and my subconcious isn't constantly wondering if the person is going to come bursting thru at any moment. No my little mushroom, this door has been locked on the inside, so I can scribble away.
When we first started we were a whirlwind of fun mayhem. We were both the same in a lot of ways...adventurous, restless, and had an endless amount of pride to the point that we felt we were above it all.
I was a bored, free spirited girl full of angst yet brave enough to divorce her mother and not blink at the chance to seize the independence that came with it. You, you were curious, bored, and willing. I had grown weary with boldly making statements alone..and you were repressed just waiting for an outlet along with the right accomplice to help you 'fuck the world' and together we were a dangerous combination.
We were inseparable, almost as if we were tethered at the hips. We'd talk about where we'd been, where we were going, and how easy it would be to get there. You didn't care where u went as long as comfort and money came with it. I..however. was one of the rare people that could excel in any path presented before me which also made it hard for me to pick one. I bored easy and anything that took my freedom tended to make me shy from it eventually...talented or not. But which ever path I did pick, I saw us taking it together....before we fell.
It was somewhat my fault, looking back. My mind was so ready to take flight at any moment, always willing to take whatever path I needed to take solo to prepare me for later in life. I never stopped to think how it would effect you. You were around me so much and we had so much fun experiencing and learning new things that I had completely forgotten that you were a mushroom. And exotic one...but a mushroom all the same.
But as I resurfaced ready to rejoin the world...better for my solo journey I had hope...somewhat confident that my worry was in vain. Cooking, was one of the many things that I was good at, and I knew how mushrooms tended to work. You had simmered and boiled in who I was, and who we were for years. There was no way you couldn't have absorbed the flavor of independence along with the spices of strength that made you the friend you were. We were as close as expected, yes we could have gone further but I have this little crux in my design that disables me from giving or showing a part of myself that I'm not willing to show everyone. And its very rare to find someone that notices the crux enough to care about it. and in ways you were perfect because you didn't care as long as I fulfilled my friend duties. And I'm thankful, because it all could have gone all wrong.
I thought you were going to be one of the most incredible people I ever had in my life, and I was extremely dissapointed. Not to see that you had "replaced" me (and I use that term loosely because I can't be replaced) but because I could barely recognize who was in front of me that day in the store. You not only lost your flavors...but absorbed all the wrong new ones. You were selfish, self centered, and rude. All things you were before and accepted because I loved you. But became unbearable in the new you. That curiosity you had was replaced with arrogance, that willingness to listen and learn masked behind smoke fumes , your moral beliefs cast aside for the careless whims of the YOLO generation.
I am speaking in truth and not in bitterness because you were many terrible things.. but you were also able to be one of the nicest and caring people at times. Even your concept of loyalty, though it was an interesting contradiction of who you were it was amazing all the same. And enough for me to attempt to continue because we had a history.
It didn't end well to say the least. The more I continued to become familiar with "new you" the harder it was to be around you especially hearing and seeing things that made me question your intent, but it wasn't until I found out that old you was ingeunine that I pulled the plug for good. History wasn't enough anymore.
But in the end...I don't even know if the beginning was worth it. There I nothing that bothers me more than when I putmy time and effort into something potentially good only for it to turn out to be anything but. But that's my fault, ill admit that I didn't love you for the person you were but the potential you had. Now that I look back I think most people love you for your potential,the raw spark of energy stuck in a vast void waiting to be harnessed and stabilized, because you could be so much more than the woman I last saw.
I wish you well in life....
-Apathy
When we first started we were a whirlwind of fun mayhem. We were both the same in a lot of ways...adventurous, restless, and had an endless amount of pride to the point that we felt we were above it all.
I was a bored, free spirited girl full of angst yet brave enough to divorce her mother and not blink at the chance to seize the independence that came with it. You, you were curious, bored, and willing. I had grown weary with boldly making statements alone..and you were repressed just waiting for an outlet along with the right accomplice to help you 'fuck the world' and together we were a dangerous combination.
We were inseparable, almost as if we were tethered at the hips. We'd talk about where we'd been, where we were going, and how easy it would be to get there. You didn't care where u went as long as comfort and money came with it. I..however. was one of the rare people that could excel in any path presented before me which also made it hard for me to pick one. I bored easy and anything that took my freedom tended to make me shy from it eventually...talented or not. But which ever path I did pick, I saw us taking it together....before we fell.
It was somewhat my fault, looking back. My mind was so ready to take flight at any moment, always willing to take whatever path I needed to take solo to prepare me for later in life. I never stopped to think how it would effect you. You were around me so much and we had so much fun experiencing and learning new things that I had completely forgotten that you were a mushroom. And exotic one...but a mushroom all the same.
But as I resurfaced ready to rejoin the world...better for my solo journey I had hope...somewhat confident that my worry was in vain. Cooking, was one of the many things that I was good at, and I knew how mushrooms tended to work. You had simmered and boiled in who I was, and who we were for years. There was no way you couldn't have absorbed the flavor of independence along with the spices of strength that made you the friend you were. We were as close as expected, yes we could have gone further but I have this little crux in my design that disables me from giving or showing a part of myself that I'm not willing to show everyone. And its very rare to find someone that notices the crux enough to care about it. and in ways you were perfect because you didn't care as long as I fulfilled my friend duties. And I'm thankful, because it all could have gone all wrong.
I thought you were going to be one of the most incredible people I ever had in my life, and I was extremely dissapointed. Not to see that you had "replaced" me (and I use that term loosely because I can't be replaced) but because I could barely recognize who was in front of me that day in the store. You not only lost your flavors...but absorbed all the wrong new ones. You were selfish, self centered, and rude. All things you were before and accepted because I loved you. But became unbearable in the new you. That curiosity you had was replaced with arrogance, that willingness to listen and learn masked behind smoke fumes , your moral beliefs cast aside for the careless whims of the YOLO generation.
I am speaking in truth and not in bitterness because you were many terrible things.. but you were also able to be one of the nicest and caring people at times. Even your concept of loyalty, though it was an interesting contradiction of who you were it was amazing all the same. And enough for me to attempt to continue because we had a history.
It didn't end well to say the least. The more I continued to become familiar with "new you" the harder it was to be around you especially hearing and seeing things that made me question your intent, but it wasn't until I found out that old you was ingeunine that I pulled the plug for good. History wasn't enough anymore.
But in the end...I don't even know if the beginning was worth it. There I nothing that bothers me more than when I putmy time and effort into something potentially good only for it to turn out to be anything but. But that's my fault, ill admit that I didn't love you for the person you were but the potential you had. Now that I look back I think most people love you for your potential,the raw spark of energy stuck in a vast void waiting to be harnessed and stabilized, because you could be so much more than the woman I last saw.
I wish you well in life....
-Apathy
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